lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize