i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
