Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
