she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
