I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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