Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize