She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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