i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
