i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize