You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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