He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
