God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
