Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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