He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
