a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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