singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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