I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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