He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
