I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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