Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
