she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
