Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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