she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
