i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
