If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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