If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
