Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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