we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
