I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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