when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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