he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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