when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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