i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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