She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
