Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize