OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
