A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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