I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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