You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm passing your future prison.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
