Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
