guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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