Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
