the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
