unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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