You really coming over, don't trick.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
