You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
