I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
