I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
