just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I looked at my own cervix.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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