giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
