how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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