he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
