She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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