So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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