i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
