is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
