I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
