Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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