how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
