I wish I could punch you in the face.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
