we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
