Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
