Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
