and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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