"it" just moved
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
